Discouraged? Listen to the Positive Voice

There isn't anything we do that we don't at some point get discouraged doing.  Even the projects, careers, businesses, and loved ones that we are so passionate about go through discouraging times.  I certainly have had my share of them.  Sometimes it feels like it is one obstacle after another to get over, through or around.  Some of the discouragement stems from that voice in our head that loves to point out all the things we do wrong.  It sure loves to point out the mistakes and when some obstacles seem overwhelming, that voice really gets loud.

I watched an Upworthy video the other day about mothers and how they see themselves.  They talked about how they see themselves as mothers and pointed out all the things they felt they should do better.  No one was prodding them to look at those negative aspects.  They could have said what they felt they were doing right.  They all just went to that voice that said, they needed to be more patient, have more time for their kids, or how they hoped that the things they didn't do well at or didn't do enough of wouldn't cause irreversible damage to their kids.  Then there was the video clips of the kids talking about how they see their moms.  The kids talked about how their moms were their hero, how she made them great meals and how they loved jumping on the trampoline with her or getting their nails done together.  The kids just beamed as they talked of their moms.  The moms were brought in to watch and listen to the video of their kids talking about them.  The fear and anxiety was written on their faces as they walked into the room.  Then as the video played and the kids talked about how wonderful their moms were, each one broke into the biggest smile and tears streamed down their faces as each mom realized that their critical voice was really wrong.  They were getting an awful lot right where their kids were concerned.  You could see the volume turned down on that critical voice as those moms listened to their children.

I must admit, even though I'm not a mother myself, the tears flowed from my eyes too.  I was touched by this video and then later realized that I have a similar critical voice that loves to play in my head especially when those discouraging times come along.  Boy does that voice love to pick out the things done wrong or what I could have been done better.  It rarely hears all the things I've been doing pretty well at.  I have had some out of town company come for visits lately and listening to them talk about how cool it is to see what I'm doing and how much I have learned over the years and do well at.  The things they were seeing being here on my farm and pointed out as what they noticed was just like those kids describing all the great things their mothers do for them.  It was stuff I took for granted and didn't notice because I was too busy listening to all the things I wasn't doing well, correctly or fast enough.

It was such a great reminder that when I get discouraged, I must look at the entire picture as I assess things.  Discounting or ignoring the positive is like adding up half the numbers on an equation.  You can't come up with a correct answer if you only look at half the data.  If we want to know why we keep hitting so many obstacles, it is probably because in our critic and assessment of what we are doing, is not including the positive pieces.  If we included those positive aspects in our review of our business or personal practices, I venture to say, we would find ourselves renewed more quickly and have much fewer obstacles to overcome.  I'd even bet that the positive items we could list would far outweigh the negatives.

Watching that video made me appreciate as I go out to my pastures and am greeted by Miss Marple and the other members of the herd, the things I'm doing right.  The kisses given by Jamilah, the boys asking for chest scratches and offering social behaviors alpacas aren't known for is pretty good evidence that I'm doing a lot right. 

Jamilah and I enjoying quality time together.

Alpaca Chin T-Touching Bonding Session

When folks first meet alpacas, they find out that many don't like to be touched.  Alpacas jump away if you reach out to touch them.  Many of mine do that too, however, I've been working with several of my alpacas using different techniques to see if they will accept touching and enjoy it. 

The other day, Miss Marple seemed to want to engage in some companionship.  I was out doing my chores when she came over to me.  I set down my rake and scooper and bent down.  She is about 18 months now so not quite full grown.  She has always been more social than the norm so a good candidate for me to try different techniques on.  I'm getting ready to attend a TTouch workshop next month and have a book that I've been reading through in preparation.  I've learned a few techniques over the years and eager to learn more.  I went out and concentrated just on TTouches to see if Miss Marple would accept them.  She had every opportunity to walk away from me.  I did not hold her at all.  With one hand I reached under Miss Marple's chin and did small gentle circular touches.  She didn't pull back and stood still and even looked up at me.  I did those circles for a few moments and then reached moved my hand slowly doing circles towards the back of her neck.  She didn't care for that and moved away so I stopped.  She came back and I went back under her chin and she stayed still.  I rubbed her cheek and chin and I saw her eyes soften more.  She reached her head up to touch mine as I bent my head down towards hers.  We rested our foreheads together as I did the gentle TTouches around her cheek and chin.  We stayed like that for nearly 5 minutes!  It was one of the most amazing bonding moments I have shared with an alpaca.  When I moved my hand to try the back of her neck or down her neck, she said no and back off and then I'd go back to her cheek and chin and she'd come back and want to put her forehead on mine.  I'd kiss her nose and just love on her that way and she was perfectly content to do that for as long as I wanted to do the TTouches in that spot.  We were both in heaven. 

Since doing that, Miss Marple has been more my buddy than ever.  She has always been affectionate but if I come in the gate, I get greeted and followed like a puppy dog!  It is just so sweet.  She has appropriate manners the whole time and sometimes she doesn't want her TTouches but just wants to hang out with me.  I just love it!  I can't wait to attend this workshop and learn more. 

Miss Marple Accepting Chin TTouches

If you like reading about how alpacas do things they aren't known for doing, please check out my recently published book, Alpacas Don't Do That.

Alpaca Weather Predictors at Hum Sweet Hum

My Handsome Herdsire Bad to The Bone and a rainbow's end. 

My first year on my farm in the Willamette Valley of Oregon, I had to get used to rainier weather.  We sure didn't get the quantity in Southern California as we do here in Oregon.  I enjoy the weather here.  I was curious to see how the alpacas would adapt to it.  They didn't seem to mind it too much that first year although Jamilah came to me shivering a few times in the beginning.  We all acclimated pretty quickly.  They also learned to appreciate their shelters.  I'd laugh at them as we would get a little sprinkling and they'd run like mad to their shelters.  I'd think what wimps as I was out there raking away.  It wasn't quite yet teasing them about what wimps they were about getting a little damp when the rain would start falling more rapidly and I'd get soaked.  This two-legger turns out not to be the sharpest one of the herd because it took me awhile to stop teasing them and listen.  It took quite a few soakings before I realized that they were sensing when heavier rain was coming. 

After observing them for a few years now, when the herd meanders in with a light rain, I know I have a little time to get done what I'm doing.  If I see them running for shelter, I know I better hurry and get myself in real quick because it is going to pour.  They are rarely wrong.  Once in awhile, their predictor is off but more times than not, it is as accurate as can be.  They must sense the difference in pressure.  I have no idea how they do that but I have gotten a lot smarter about listening to them.  The last laugh was on me for teasing them. 

Alpaca weather predicting was another example of us two-leggers (me) thinking I was so much smarter than the alpacas.  We can learn so much from our animal friends if we check our egos at the gate and just listen and observe.  Some days I don't have a choice and need to stay out and get rained on.  That is what rain gear is made for.  But on days where I really don't feel like getting soaked to the bone and being poured upon, I listen to my alpacas.  Maybe a few meteorologists could get a pointer or two as well! 

Why Buying From Someone Staying In Business Is A Good Idea

This blog is written to those who are interested in buying alpacas or newly into the alpaca business and building their herd.  There are a lot of alpacas out there for sale.  Lots of folks liquidating their herds for lots of reasons.  I have had many new people come through my farm gate, learn a lot from me and then find these great deals out there and buy from them.  I have bought a couple myself.  Those that I purchased stepped up my breeding program immensely and I knew what I was getting and what I was hoping to achieve by getting those alpacas.  I knew exactly the quality and genetics I was buying.  I do not discourage buying those sale alpacas.  But, there is a difference in buying from someone staying in business.  I have dropped my prices yet I refuse to drop them to liquidation prices because I believe you are getting something beyond owning an alpaca.  When you are trying to make a sale, it is important to spell out clearly for the buyer the "What's In It For Me" or "WIIFM" from their perspective.  What does that alpaca, product or service going to do for them. 

1) Mentorship.  Everyone of my new alpaca owners and even ones with experience have called me with questions and many of those are emergency sort of questions requiring a quick response or having someone walk them through a process.  I have talked folks through how to feel for a stuck leg and what signs to look for during a difficult delivery.  I have had others with a sick animal and offered other ideas of things I've done since a vet isn't always available until a day or two later.  I have run over to farms to assist in all sorts of activities from herd health, shearing and births.  You get someone that helps you and suggests and shares ideas of how to get your business growing.  I teach how to trim nails, de-worm, give shots, halter train and much, much more. 

2) You have someone that may want to collaborate with you on projects.  There is someone that has processed fleeces and knows the various mills around and what they like about which ones and maybe what the market in your area is looking for in a finished product.  They also have more knowledge of what might be going on nationally that can help you decide on a niche.  They have leads and contacts that might help you when you have chosen that niche. 

3) If they have a customer that is looking for a particular alpaca they don't have but know you have one, they may share that lead with you.  They may offer a partnership on a herdsire or offer you special deals on stud fees. 

4)  They may give you guarantees and be able to fulfill them if there is a problem with an alpaca you purchased.  I offer guarantees of a life birth with my studs' services.  If something happens to a new born cria, and it doesn't make it or isn't going to be a breeder, I offer a free re-breeding to that male.  Will you get that from a liquidator?

5) Finally, buying from someone that is staying in business despite the tough economic times, have adjusted their business plans, adjusted their breeding programs, and created new niches.  They are the types of people I look for in buying and doing business with.  I know doing so helps my business and to me, I want to help them stay in business as much as I want me to stay in business.  Learning from those folks is worth the extra dollars and then some.  It has paid off more than once for me! I personally would prefer to learn from others that are successful and staying in business.  

Alpaca Farming: Our Cups Runneth Over

There are days when it seems like I'm alone in my positive attitude about the alpaca business.  But today, there was a posting on a group on Facebook and it mirrored all I have been saying.  It was such a breath of fresh air reading her post.  She listed all the points I've been standing on my soapbox preaching. 

1) We need to take responsibility for our own businesses and set the attitude we want.
2) Stop blaming AOBA, ARI, those liquidating their herds, the economy.  No one said it was going to be easy and there will always be cycles of good times and bad. 
3) This is a great industry with a bright future and we are a part of it.  Those of us with passion for these animals, their fiber and have the vision of where we are headed, know we are in the right place at the right time.  We are creating something amazing and wonderful. 

This post was just perfect timing.  I had a visit this weekend from my former colleague that was during my life as an engineer.  That organization was so negative.  It was a horrific environment to work in daily.  It isn't easy with tightening wallets and slow sales to maintain that positive outlook especially when bombarded with negative comments about the industry.  I have stopped reading much of it because it just depresses me and gets into my head.  I don't need to battle those voices in my head.  My voices are loud enough at times.  Those negative voices are like so many other negative voices out there and it doesn't matter what the career.  If they take hold, so many jump on the bandwagon.  I saw it when I was at the base.  So many of my colleagues from the younger days were so negative.  That should have been a time when we were bright, eager and excited about our careers and yet, the whining and grousing was terrible.  Why?  Because that is what they heard from our leaders and those that came before us.  I never heard anyone talk about how great it was to work where we worked.  Not once.  I saw myself falling into that trap of being negative and whiny too and I didn't like myself much.  I knew I had to get out of there before I was as much of the problem as the solution. 

Those negative voices carry legs.  If they shout loud enough, they find followers and they get attention.  Those of us that are positive, tend not to respond to those negative voices which allows more and more to follow that self-defeating path.  It is perhaps a mistake that we don't raise our positive voices louder.  I know for myself, I separate myself from it and hunker down trying to deflect that negativity as best I can and work hard at staying focused on what is right and working well.  But the result of that is feeling isolated and alone.

When hearing someone else say those wonderful words of positive outlook, I saw myself grasping at it like someone lost at sea thankful for that life boat.  What was even better was seeing how many responded.  The voices out there also doing like myself doing our best to be positive in our small way, came together as a group and community.  What a welcome and wonderful feeling to see all those voices around the country sharing our same philosophy as mine.  WE are the future of this industry.  Not the negative voices.  They are the ones getting out of business!  We are the ones staying in it because this is our passion.  This is our life.  This is our choice!  We are rich and successful because we have found that life that is just made for us.  We aren't afraid of the pitfalls and downturns.  That is going to happen no matter what.  We are here with our eyes wide open, knowing there are tough times and loving each and every minute of it.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  We are making lemonade out of all of it! 

I had this t-shirt that had a cup with fluid in it and it said underneath the graphic, "Half Full."  I thought that was perfect for me but now I have a different philosophy.  I say that I try and keep that cup as full as I can because I only want it to go down to half full during my worst times.  If we keep that cup only half full at good times, then it can get rather empty during the rockier times of life.  So I now say, keep that cup full.  My goal is for my cup is to runneth over.  And most days, it does just that.  I feel my heart fill up as I watch my babies play and it filled up to the top today after reading someone else's wonderfully positive post!   

Jumping for Joy

Alpacas as Icer Breakers

Being an introvert has been a challenge when it comes to being in the public and meeting new people.  Since owning alpacas, it has become way easier to strike up conversations with new introductions.  When I worked as an engineer, I noticed after many years of this happening, that when I first met someone, as soon as I was asked what I did for a living and I responded I was an engineer, the response was most often, "That's nice,"or, "That's interesting."  They'd smile, turn and walk away.  At best, I'd get asked what kind of engineer and then they'd walk away.  I told my mom what I experienced when I met new folks.  She didn't quite believe me.  Then one time we went to some social function of hers.  She introduced me to one of her friends.  Her friend asked me if I was the daughter that was a teacher.  I said no, I was the daughter that was an engineer.  She did the standard reply of that is so interesting, turned and walked away.  My mom waited a few moments and whispered to me, "they really do walk away when you tell them you're an engineer!"  I replied, "I told you so!"  A part of me took my rejection sort of personally.  I figured that I was either very uninteresting or people didn't like me.  But I knew I was pretty nice so it didn't quite jive that folks would just walk away like that.  Then I realized engineering was somewhat intimidating to folks.  They just didn't know what it was beyond knowing there were different kinds.  They couldn't relate to it and instead of being curious, they just walked away.  However, for someone who is rather shy to begin with, and during an age when you should be learning better social skills in dealing with meeting new people, I wasn't given a good chance to practice.  Once someone turned and walked away, I certainly didn't pursue them and say, "Hey wait, I'm not done talking!"  Ha!  No, instead I went right into my wallflower mode and went invisible.

I went back to school and earned my Master's degree in Counseling and thought, well that should be less intimidating to folks.  That wasn't why I went into counseling but having gone to some social functions and still getting the walk away after saying I'm an engineer, I figured I'd try saying I was a counselor instead.  I have a new career I can use that people won't walk away from me.  However, what happened was one of two things.  I either got people now telling me all their problems and wanting a free counseling session or I'd get the exact same response as when I told folks I was an engineer.  That puzzled me until I realized that they thought I was probably psychoanalyzing them which of course I wasn't.  Strike 2 on having a career that was a good conversation starter.

Then I got alpacas.   Not long after I got my first alpacas, I was invited to a rather large social event for some dear friends.  They were having a formal dinner party at a hotel to celebrate their anniversary.  We had assigned seating and the table I was at, I slightly new one couple but the rest of the table were people I had never met before.  I saw that and my heart sunk a bit as it felt like it could be a long night of me sitting there working very hard to have conversation with strangers.  I really stink at chit chat.  It wasn't long after we were all seated, the dreaded question came up of what I did for a living.  I wasn't doing engineering anymore and I wasn't counseling either. Well, they couldn't get up and walk away so I said I breed alpacas.  I got some laughs and exclamations of, "Really!"  Then came one question after another.  They were so interested and intrigued by it all.  I answered all the questions and shared fun anecdotes.  Our table laughed more and we all had the best time.  I later found out that many shared with our hosts days following the party how much they enjoyed our table and were so entertained by the alpaca stories. 

Having alpacas has definitely made it so much easier to strike up conversations with people.  Moving to Oregon has helped too since it is such a friendly state.  You go into a store and wait in line and people talk to you.  Thanks to alpacas, I'm finally getting a little better at that skill of that introductory conversation.  It is another alpaca oxymoron that such a shy and skittish animal makes the best ice breaker!

Alpacas Have Helping Me With Speaking to Public

Now that I'm an author of a new book, Alpacas Don't Do That, I am learning a lot about public speaking and so enjoying when folks come up and talk to me about what stories have resonated with them.  If you have a favorite story to share of your own of your experience with alpacas that have taught you a life lesson, I want to hear it!  Write to me at cindy@humsweethum.com.

Cure For A Cranky Day: Clicker Train Some Alpacas

You know it is going to be a cranky day when you have deadlines and your printer jams and then breaks completely.  Nothing is more frustrating when my tools don't work especially when there isn't time to figure out how to get things working right.  I have to admit, I have no patience for such things.  As a former engineer, I get on my soapbox and grumble to anyone and no one about how poorly things are made.  It is planned obsolescence and intentionally made to break within a couple of years so you have to go out and buy a new one.  They are never worth going out and fixing.  I had to buy this printer not because the previous one was broken, but because I had to replace a computer and the old printer didn't have modern enough drivers to download to the new computer.  I was forced to replace a perfectly functioning printer.  Boy did that irritate me to no end.  When you are used to making do and using materials on the farm to make things work, I get really cranky at technology that has the opposite philosophy.  If you replace one thing, it becomes this cascading, domino issue.  Replace one item typically leads to replacing a ton of other things.  I hate waste!  Technology is amazing and we have become so dependent on it and when it works, it is fun and such an important tool to running a business, but when it doesn't work, nothing makes me crankier.

I was in a better mood by the time of feeding, but I still had a cranky hangover.  It wouldn't take much to make me grumpy again.  I went through my chores and fed the alpacas their pellets.  I have two small groups that I put in catch pens to eat.  They are the passive alpacas and one group are my yearlings that are easily pushed out of their bowls.  They need their private little eating area so they can take their time and not have the piggier alpacas come and push them away.  I had a few minutes to wait until they were done.  All the water tubs had been scrubbed and filled so I had a few minutes to play.  I had some pellets left in my bucket I use to distribute to the herd.  Olivier was standing there at the gate looking hopeful for an extra handful or two of pellets.  I decided it would be fun to go in and work with him on his touching the toy with his nose.

I walked over the toy.  Olivier remembered from last time what to do immediately.  I clicked with my tongue since I didn't bring a clicker out.  I didn't have to lure him or refresh his memory at all.  He just started to touch the toy.  His nose stayed about an inch or two from the toy so I decided he needed to back up after being clicked.  I fed him at his chest so he would have to take a step back.  Then he had to come a foot or two to the toy to touch between clicks and being treated.  This step is leading us to put more distance between the toy and my goal of sending him from up to 10 feet away or further to the toy.  Once I have him doing that well, I want to get similar toys that are different colors to this blue one.  Maybe a yellow and a red toy will do nicely because I want something quite different to see if they can see and understand that they are different colors.  I will begin putting a name to to the cue soon now that I see that Olivier really understands what I'm clicking him for.  So this one will get called Blue Toy and that will be his cue to go touch this particular toy. 

Those few minutes of clicker training Olivier and watching his eager face that was just enjoying himself and our game turned my mood around completely.  I left the pasture and finished up the chores with a big smile on my face and laughing and enjoying myself.  I was enjoying the beautiful view and colors and telling everyone in the herd to have a good night.  Clicker training may be a great way to teach the alpacas new behaviors, but one of the best side-effects is how good it makes the one training feel.  It sure cured my cranky feeling I had most of the day.  Maybe next time I will remember to go out and train an alpaca when technology strikes again!

The boys really enjoy their toy.